Wednesday, 21 June 2017

Dear Leo... I'm Struggling

Dear Leo,

I’m struggling…

I’m struggling to parent you at this point in your life.

I’m struggling to answer your questions when you read the intriguing headlines of glossy magazines at the supermarket checkout.

I’m struggling with how much information about the world I should burden your growing mind with.

I’m struggling to keep my cool, when another football comes flying through the patio doors or you refuse to hear my requests when your eyes are focussed on a screen.

I don’t know if I’m doing everything right in the decisions I make raising you.

I’m not sure if I’m giving you the right advice when you tell me about your school friends who have been mean to you.

I’m not sure if you have a healthy balance between down time and physical activities.

I’m not sure if you have too many material things or too little of our time.

I’m struggling to be confident in every decision I make.

I’m struggling just as much as when you were a new born baby, changing those first nappies, attempting to swap them over before you weed in my face.

I struggled to be sure your milk was at the right temperature even after tipping it on my arm in a thousand different places to check.

I struggled with the sleepless nights, with bathing you and dressing you and as you grew I struggled to hold it together when you threw the biggest tantrum in the aisle of Boots.

The truth is I don’t know how to parent a nine-year-old, let alone a nine-year-old with so much soul, ambition and passion.

I’m more confident raising your sister and brothers, I’ve parented a four-year-old and a two-year-old before – you.

But with you I’m learning as I go, that’s how it’s always been and that’s how it always will be. 

So, bear with me mate, if I shout and you don’t deserve it.

Bear with me if I give you the wrong advice or I make the wrong decision.

Bear with me please?

Because even though I’m struggling, I promise to carry on until I’m the best parent you could possible wish for.

I promise that - for you - my oldest child, the one who taught me how to be a mum, I will struggle trying to be my best, for you.

I love you mate,


Love Mummy x x x

Thursday, 8 June 2017

Why Breakfast is Bad For You....

It is often said by many health gurus and health fanatics, that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. That sitting down to a wholesome and nutritious bowl of porridge or indulging in an ample bowl of exotic fruit salad and yoghurt, will set you up, physically and mentally for the day ahead.

And I agree, although I am no expert, I imagine that eating breakfast has many physical and mental health benefits ….... If you don’t have any children sharing your breakfast table that is.

If like many of us you have little toads at your breakfast table, then breakfast time takes on a whole new meaning. If you looked up the term ‘Breakfast Time’ in a manual written by mums, the following definition would be given: The unimaginable depths of hell where you will be trapped by roaring fires and you will serve a selection of sugary cereal to raging lions.

Because of the sheer battering my mental health has taken recently due to ‘breakfast time’ I thought I would share with you all my top tips at keeping them lions tamed at the breakfast table.

All cups, spoons, plates and cutlery must be the same.

If you have more than one child, in order to avoid, body slamming, feet kicking, hand swinging and physical acts of violence between children, you will need to make sure that every beaker, plate and bowl are exactly the same, with no variation of colour or pattern. If you happen to have (like me) a selection of multi coloured bowels and beakers in your cupboard and the odd character plate or beaker that came from McDonalds or attached to an Easter egg…. You’re fucked…. Add at least an extra two hours onto breakfast time to referee arguments that will erupt because of said character beaker.

Never offer a choice of cereal….

Never! It will take the average four-year-old approximately five hours and nine minutes to make a decision between Rice Krispies and cornflakes, there is no way you will be getting them through those school gates on time. Offering them a selection of cereals also gives them the opportunity to declare “This isn’t what I asked for!!!!!!” Yes, cereal choices will turn your children into patrons of the Ritz and you into the waiter.

Never change the brand or flavour of the breakfast juice.

You might not be able to tell one brand of fruit juice from the next but you can bet your life on it that your nine-year-old will, and they will have a whole mornings worth of conspiracy theories as to why the juice tastes strange…. “I’m not drinking that it tastes funny”…. “what's wrong with it Mum??”…. “I bet someone's poisoned it!” …. “Is it wine??”… “Is it out of date”….. You tell them that nothing is wrong with it, as you discard of the Tesco basic carton that has replaced your usual premium brand, whilst making a mental note that a saving of eighty-two pence isn’t worth the interrogation.

Never serve Weetabix or porridge.

They may seem like a healthy breakfast option for your little ones, but if any should end up on the table or floor and you don’t clean it up within a second , you are likely to give yourself an aneurysm attempting to remove the dried Weetabix with a hammer and chisel.

The most important rule to remember……

Never sit down at breakfast while your children our eating because if they see you attempt to sit down, its game over. Before your bum has even made contact with the dining chair someone will spill a cup of juice, a child will tip their breakfast onto their lap, someone will whack someone else with a spoon or a bowl, someone will need a poo and someone else will have already done a poo!!!..... Do not, I repeat do not sit down!!!

So there you have it, if you’re a parent it's best to avoid eating breakfast with the kids at all costs. In order to stay healthy mentally and physically, I suggest picking up a muffin or some other sort of cake on the go and consuming more wine to make up for your breakfast calories…. Happy Feasting!