I am a Working Mummy of 4 Beautiful children. I have 3 handsome Boys including twins and a beautiful little Girl. I am writing this blog to share my journey as we experience Joy, Laughter, Tears and Tantrums and our attempt at holding it all together!
Thursday, 9 July 2015
Tantrums, Toads and Tiaras!
Two is a fantastic age for your child to be! I am able to
have the most amazing conversations with my little girl who is two, my
favourite one over the last few days was how Cinderella stole her dress and ran
to the monkeys in the wood!!! As well as the amazing insights into her mind, I am
also seeing her develop a unique sense of style as she enthusiastically puts
her outfits together in the morning! She is becoming a strong headed
independent and curious little girl and watching her grow up is an honour.
It’s not all princesses, loveliness and sparkly things
though as a mother of a seven year old boyI have already survived the crazy tantrum times of atwo year old and have come out the other side
relatively sane and our boys tantrums
were bad, really bad!
Everyone who has a child around the age of twenty months old
will at some point describe how their child has hit the ‘Terrible Twos’ stage early.
This is what parents actually believe. This is what I actually believed!! When
my first child our little boy was around eighteen months old, I would find his
resistance to eat his breakfast or sit in a high chair an indication that the
terrible twos had hit our home. What was actually happening was Mother Nature
giving us a very gentle insight into what was to come.
By the time our boy reached two and half the tantrums were
in full swing. As a first time Mum I had absolutely no clues as to how to
handle a child who seemed to have the ability to let the whole city hear how
upset he was! I took advice from my Mum, Health Visitor and even watched ridiculous
parenting programmes. I call them ridiculous but I am sure their strict routines
and punishments worked if you had a spare fifty hours in the morning before you
went to work to implement them to a screaming child.
The hardest tantrums were without doubt the morning ones! I
would never give myself extra time in the morning to deal with them, I would
just convince myself that the next day would be better. Nothing ever seemed to
be right for my little boy and these were just a few of the morning triggers
He didn’t want to brush his teeth.
He didn’t want me to brush his teeth.
He didn’t like his socks, his cereal bowl, his cereal, his
clothes, his hair, his bloody bag!!!!
He didn’t want to get dressed and by this I mean he point
blank refused. Now you may think a grown woman in her late twenties would be
able to outsmart a two year old child and somehow be able to get him dressed in
a suitable state for him to attend nursery….. You would be wrong! He would go
as stiff as a board, he would scream and roll around on the floor. I used to
use every tiny bit of energy I had to attempt to dress him and I would manage
to get his leg into his trousers and then he would take them off again. I
sometimes got his top over his head and again off it would come!
The other thing I would do would be to bribe him. On one
particular morning I had managed to get him half dressed, his other clothes
thrown into a carrier bag to hand to the nursery staff, but I could not get him
to sit in his car seat he just would not sit!. Other than tie him to the roof
of the car and drive to him to nursery or carry him over my shoulder I had no
clue what to do. I was flustered, late and annoyed so the bribery started! ‘I
will give you sweets’ …… ’Noooo’ he screamed ‘a new toy??’ Nooooo he screamed
even louder! So I told him that Mummy had a big piece of chocolate cake in her
bag and if he was to get in his seat, he could eat the yummy cake on the way! He
sat in his seat ‘where’s my chocolate cake mummy’ he asked ‘There is no cake
you naughty boy’ I shouted and slammed the door! To which he replied ‘That’s ok
mummy I know you didn’t mean to deceive me I understand why you did it and I am
going to be well behaved from now on.’
He screamed and screamed and screamed all the way to nursery
and when we got to nursery he stopped. Yeah that’s right he stopped. No more screaming
I also have a supermarket tantrum that stands out in my mind,
well it was in Boots actually. He wasn’t keen on shopping and he kicked and
screamed as soon as I started to get him out of the car. He was obviously
hoping I would feel too embarrassed to even enter a shop, let alone walk up and
down aisles with him in this state. I was not giving in to him, I was not
giving in to a two year old, I was determined to win this one! I was going to
purchase conditioner and waxing strips if it killed me!!! I entered the shop
with him in under my arm kicking and screaming. I was determined. He struggled
out of my arms and grabbed onto my foot so as I was walking I was dragging him
along the floor. I could shop like this, it felt perfectly acceptable until two
elderly women walked past and mumbled something about how some people don’t
deserve children. I was completely mortified I dropped my basket and spent the
next thirty minutes attempting to put him back into his car seat! I drove to my
Mums house where he turned into a golden child within seconds of falling
through the door! I lost again!
Our little Princess hasn’t got to our boys standards yet she’s
doing pretty well though. She’s defiantly not as fussy when choosing her
subjects to tantrum about. Over the last few weeks the strangest tantrum has come from when I asked
her if she would like a piece of cake, I was been serious this time! I asked
her 'Do you want some cake Princess' and she threw herself onto the floor kicking
and screaming I was baffled so I asked her again, she kicked and screamed ‘no
cake!!!’ What the hell??? I was offering her one of her top 5 favourite things
in the world and she was having a meltdown about it!! It was bloody hilarious I
couldn’t stop laughing the more I laughed the more she screamed and kicked the
floor. Laughing at your children is not a good way to deal with a tantrum and
almost certainly something you should avoid in public but it did bring some
humour to my day!
A lot of my fellow Mummy friends often believe that I know
what I am doing when it comes to parenting obviously because I am the mother of
four children! This is often not true and certainly not true when it comes to tantrums. With our boy I got
through and came out the other side and I discovered making false promises only
adds fuel to the flames but I still do it! I have learned how to cope with
tantrums and sometimes avoid them however I do think that two year olds
tantrums are just a part of life and no matter how many times you watch re runs
of super nanny you’re not going to find the answer.
Our Little Prince!
When you’re in the thick of the tantrum phase and they are
occurring almost on a daily basis you can’t imagine that life is ever going to
be ‘normal’ again, but they do get better we have a lovely respectful seven
year old that is living proof that naughty little toads do turn into charming
little princes! The trouble is we have got another three toads that still need
transforming before we get our happily ever after!!